what this country needs is a good strong beer party

by problembear

as most of you know, i am fairly progressive in my views but i was visiting with my right wing conservative gopher shooting brother last night and we have decided (over a few cold ones in the backyard) that what this country needs is something stronger than tea to send a message to our politicians who are too corrupt to be trusted anymore.

the montana beer party’s main tenets:

  1. the people can go to church on their own time and in their own way. this is a political revolution. not a phony excuse to impose religious beliefs on others.  no religious tenets, teachings or prejudices of any kind are allowed in the beer party.
  2. the people hold first title to the mortgage of this country. any claims made on any debt transacted by the rich and powerful in order to further enrich the same rich and powerful and their friends are hereby cancelled. we are repossessing the country for non payment of promises made to the people who own this country.
  3. the beer party is an independent political party which believes that proper government should make every effort to institute and maintain peace so that the people may live freely in the united states of america-not wage war in other countries or stick our noses into their internal affairs. we believe in a strong defense which causes no offense to other countries.
  4. we believe in protecting our interests by manufacturing and growing what we need in this country so that we can have a market-place which supports americans instead of wealthy multi-national corporations.
  5. we believe that all americans have personal control over their own  homes, firearms, lives, marriages, uteruses, and any other personal decisions. government has no business intruding on personal decisions regarding our bedrooms, lives or lifestyles.
  6. we don’t necessarily condone alcohol. remember there is root beer for those prospective beer partiers who don’t indulge.
  7. fun is allowed and encouraged. but corrupt politicians must go.
  8. proselytizing  hypocritical political leaders who espouse racism, homophobic violence, and hatred toward others while helping themselves to lobbyist dollars and enriching their friends are expressly denied membership. same goes for hypocritical political leaders who profess to be for the people’s interest but are corrupt enough to take corporate lobby money and support legislation written by their corporate bribers.
  9. workers of america who have seen their world diminish while the wealthy help themselves to our tax debt are encouraged to join.
  10. we profess peace toward all and welcome differences rather than condemning those who do not believe as we do. (although we do believe that the recent behavior of the montana tea party does qualify for us to declare it lame and irrelevant to normal working montanans.